Getting a buddy is like finding a date

Looking for someone / buddy in your area to go Metal Detecting with ? look here
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Getting a buddy is like finding a date

Post by Oxgirl36 » Sat Feb 11, 2017 11:20 am

Hi
I'm amazed at how many posts on here looking for buddy's are so lacking in detail. And really don't sell themselves at all. Good posts tell you what they can offer and what they are looking for. Really good posts tell you a bit about themselves and their experience and equipment.

So I've put a guide together for those of you hoping to get a successful buddy relationship going:

1. Where do you live/ have land/ be willing to travel to.
2. Your experience
3. What detector you have
4. Why I want to find a buddy
5. Give an idea of age and gender somewhere in the post (a hint on age would do)
6. What I can offer a buddy in terms of transport, land, experience, etc
7. Put some personality into it if you can
8. Oh and say when you detect. It is no good if weekends are out for one and the only time for the other!
9. Put your location in the title!!

For example:

Buddy wanted in Nova Scotia

Hi I've been detecting for 6 months and I am finding i am still struggling with my detector sometimes. I'd like to find a buddy to help me improve and in return I can share access to my dads 200 acre farm near Nova Scotia. I don't drive yet and can only meet in Uni holidays and the odd weekend but I'm sure that will suit some of you. I have a new Garrett 300i.

I love going out and finding a bit of history. I got into the hobby because of my fascination with researching the farms history a year or so ago. Oh and I'm studying history and archeology at uni!! Not that doing things by the archeology rule book is essential to me. You can get rather sick of the trowel method so the instant results from digging a hole can be very satisfying - just don't tell my lecturers!! Go to uni near Plymouth so a buddy there for term time would be good but I can't offer land nor do I drive so it needs to be in a cycle ride/ near a bus route.

As a woman I'd feel more comfortable with a female buddy but age doesn't matter, just experience. PM me with your contact details and I'll give you a call.

But before you post looking for a buddy consider if joining a local club, or some open digs would be a better approach. Then you can meet and get to know someone before you become buddies. Hope that helps and good luck!! ::g

One other thought - if someone asked you if you had a home and you said yes how would you feel if they turned up at your door expecting to move in? Asking to join someone's permission (or worse presuming others will just let you join their permission) with no offer of returning the favour isn't going to be very popular :x| There is a reason why AirBNB is successful and no-one has heard of 'liveherewithmeforfree.com' :P ;)
Last edited by Oxgirl36 on Sat Sep 09, 2017 8:47 am, edited 5 times in total.


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Re: Getting a buddy is like finding a date

Post by oldartefact » Sat Feb 11, 2017 11:52 am

I would also add that one should avoid saying that the reason is because you dont have permissions of your own, that's a bit like asking a girl out and admitting that all you are interested in is the s*x!!
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Re: Getting a buddy is like finding a date

Post by allmetal » Sat Feb 11, 2017 12:01 pm

Very good advice. ::g

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Re: Getting a buddy is like finding a date

Post by lord lovell » Sat Feb 11, 2017 12:07 pm

sounds like a questionnaire for a Uni project good luck with you course ::g

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Re: Getting a buddy is like finding a date

Post by Blackadder43 » Sat Feb 11, 2017 12:23 pm

Excellent write up
I have made this a sticky post in the buddy forum so it will always stay at the top
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Re: Getting a buddy is like finding a date

Post by Dave The Slave » Sat Feb 11, 2017 1:10 pm

You have only been a member on here for 6 months and have become a prolific poster. This is very well written and sums up the " Buddy wanted ".message superbly.
Well Done A+,
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Re: Getting a buddy is like finding a date

Post by Oxgirl36 » Sat Feb 11, 2017 2:07 pm

LOL i think a few of you think I'm now a young student from novia scotia. In my dreams :D well not the novia scotia bit, way too blooming cold there. Sadly I ain't that young and my dad isn't blessed with any land.

Thanks for the comments and to Blackadder for making it a sticky ::g I just hope it helps a few people.
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Re: Getting a buddy is like finding a date

Post by Saffron » Sat Feb 11, 2017 2:07 pm

A very good post by OxGirl.

Before proceeding I know I am very cynical, and have been told so in the past, but I have frequently subsequently been proved to be right. However, all the "Finding a Buddy" posts recently were from newbies without permissions largely keen on getting paired up with an existing detectorist who had permissions. I do wonder to what extent they had tried to get permissions or if they are just trying to use this as an easy way to get a permission?. I know it might not be easy to get a permission but I would very strongly suggest that newbies get a permission so that they can offer a buddy a swap of permissions, I am sure that by doing so it would significantly increase there chances of getting a buddy.

I would recommend that anybody looking for a buddy, and wanting to detect on their permissions, joins the NCMD as this gives £10 million insurance and puts this in their post.

I would also suggest that newbies looking for a buddy join a club (accepting that in some areas this might not be possible due to clubs being full) and attend any open digs, such as LGD, as by attending digs they will meet other detectorists face to face where they have a much better chance of buddying up than if they just post blindly on here. Even if they fail to buddy up with any body they will be able to get good advice and help from experienced detectorists on the day.

People asking for buddies also need to be aware that many detectorists with permissions might not be able to take other people with them, so a lack of response does not mean that we are all a miserable bunch but could well mean that there is nobody in the area able to help out.

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Re: Getting a buddy is like finding a date

Post by TinTin » Sat Feb 11, 2017 2:13 pm

oldartefact wrote:I would also add that one should avoid saying that the reason is because you dont have permissions of your own, that's a bit like asking a girl out and admitting that all you are interested in is the s*x!!
Couldn't agree more, some of the post's I see on here do make me smile.... its as if its a god given right to join a person with land and detect away.
They need to remember that permissions are very hard to come by and very easily lost if holes are not filled properly etc etc.
I've only ever responded to one request and that person already had some permission so we just go to each others permissions on a regular basis.
He treats my permissions with respect as I do with his and we have a great relationship. Its a case of give and take rather than give give give.
I have also noticed that when someone does post that he has land and is looking for a buddy then he gets bombed out with requests to join him, mostly from people that I never heard of before.

Just my thoughts.

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Re: Getting a buddy is like finding a date

Post by Oxgirl36 » Sat Feb 11, 2017 2:46 pm

Saffron, TinTin and Oldartefact are all right. Firstly think about safety (so meet with someone first in a public place everyone!!). Secondly will you like them, or will they like you? Third most of my permissions are with friends land and if I was to ask for them to join me I would need to be absolutely sure they wouldn't misuse that trust. And I would want to think I wasn't being used for my permissions too so I would want them to have permissions as well (no matter how small). So a relationship based on trust and some quid pro quo on the deal is important.

Saffron's advice on joining a club, or going to an open dig is spot on. I'll edit the original post to suggest it!!
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A Noob reply...

Post by Bargeman » Sat Feb 11, 2017 2:50 pm

As a complete newbie to both detecting and this here forum, I have taken a different route to detecting nirvana. First and foremost I live in an iron tube (my barge) and have no garden, so learning about my detector has been a little tough to say the least, as wherever I point the thing in my barge I get a signal! so even doing an air test has its challenges. Secondly, I live in an area of high archeological interest (west Berkshire/South Oxfordshire) so finding land where the owners are willing to give you a chance on even the smallest parcel of land, is nigh on impossible, but I keep looking.

So as I said above, I took a different route, first I joined LGD, this was a good call, because apart from having open digs that I can attend, at a discount too by being a member, I get to meet like minded people who are more than happy to give advice if asked, which means I have been able to hit the field running so to speak, along with what I have learned from this forum, and youtube. And the very fact I am using a GMP means I need to be out digging the sounds, so I can learn to recognise what the sounds are telling me. Another bonus to joining LGD was the unexpected fact that it gave me a discount on buying my detector at Leisure Promotions, this again gave me their own club access, so another set of open digs at a discounted price. So while it is true I don't have a garden or field of my own to swing the stick over, I am not short of fairly local digs, so at least I can get out and hone my skills, while looking for a field of my own.

And yes, I too am surprised by some of the "buddy" requests I see on here, but there are other options available, if you are willing to do some homework.

Weather permitting, I can go to a dig every Sunday through February, and I have every intention of doing so.

Kevin (Bargeman) ::g

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Re: Getting a buddy is like finding a date

Post by Phil2401 » Sat Feb 11, 2017 3:41 pm

Bargeman wrote:As a complete newbie to both detecting and this here forum, I have taken a different route to detecting nirvana. First and foremost I live in an iron tube (my barge) and have no garden, so learning about my detector has been a little tough to say the least, as wherever I point the thing in my barge I get a signal! so even doing an air test has its challenges. Secondly, I live in an area of high archeological interest (west Berkshire/South Oxfordshire) so finding land where the owners are willing to give you a chance on even the smallest parcel of land, is nigh on impossible, but I keep looking.

So as I said above, I took a different route, first I joined LGD, this was a good call, because apart from having open digs that I can attend, at a discount too by being a member, I get to meet like minded people who are more than happy to give advice if asked, which means I have been able to hit the field running so to speak, along with what I have learned from this forum, and youtube. And the very fact I am using a GMP means I need to be out digging the sounds, so I can learn to recognise what the sounds are telling me. Another bonus to joining LGD was the unexpected fact that it gave me a discount on buying my detector at Leisure Promotions, this again gave me their own club access, so another set of open digs at a discounted price. So while it is true I don't have a garden or field of my own to swing the stick over, I am not short of fairly local digs, so at least I can get out and hone my skills, while looking for a field of my own.

And yes, I too am surprised by some of the "buddy" requests I see on here, but there are other options available, if you are willing to do some homework.

Weather permitting, I can go to a dig every Sunday through February, and I have every intention of doing so.

Kevin (Bargeman) ::g
Hi Kevin - I'm in a similar situation, minus the barge - I live in a flat - my plant pots haven't yet turned up any interesting finds. Agree with all you say.

Complete newbie, have joined LGD and looking forward to my first dig at Normandy, Guildford on 26th. Recently inherited £1K from a relative, so thought shall I invest in an ISA and get a 1% return? .....no brainer - the Deus is awaiting its first proper outing. I wouldn't dream of asking to buddy up with anyone until I get some worthwhile permissions of my own - yet to come. Also got a licence (one of 25 issued every year) to detect on Epsom Downs - mainly full of junk, several modern coins (useful to pay the licence fee) but more importantly a large area of land on which to practice and recognise the tones of the machine.

I also live in an area with considerable archaeological history - Ewell, Epsom (Stane Street runs past my home and Henry V111 and his cronies spent much time in the immediate area - Nonsuch Park, etc.) - so I've joined the Surrey Archaeological Society, who regularly have serious digs on scheduled sites in the County and they are more than happy to accommodate a limited number of detectorists - maybe you might want to look into your local archeological societies too, if you haven't already.

Anyway - best of luck and we'll probably bump into each other at some time at a LGD event.

Phil
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Re: Getting a buddy is like finding a date

Post by Bargeman » Sat Feb 11, 2017 3:50 pm

I too am booked into Normandy. ::g

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Re: Getting a buddy is like finding a date

Post by Phil2401 » Sat Feb 11, 2017 4:04 pm

Bargeman wrote:I too am booked into Normandy. ::g
Bargeman wrote:I too am booked into Normandy. ::g
And Chalfont St Peter by the looks of it - hope that event happens soon too :)
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Re: Getting a buddy is like finding a date

Post by leem73 » Sat Feb 11, 2017 8:01 pm

Think alot of people don't research before taking up a hobby

As a newbie myself from joining the forum Ive learnt a few things I didn't know
I was fortunate or lucky to have some permission to start off with which may lead to more

as for finding a buddy I would expect a lot of the experienced folks with permission are quite sceptical of reading a post saying Im looking for a buddy

think oxgirl has made a good strong valid point ::g

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Re: Getting a buddy is like finding a date

Post by oldartefact » Sat Feb 11, 2017 10:45 pm

sweepstick47 wrote:
oldartefact wrote:I would also add that one should avoid saying that the reason is because you dont have permissions of your own, that's a bit like asking a girl out and admitting that all you are interested in is the s*x!!
HaHa, Sounds like the words from a man who has been rumbled!! :)) :)) Keep smiling 'oa' ::g ss47
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Re: Getting a buddy is like finding a date

Post by FUBAR » Sun Feb 12, 2017 11:08 am

Bit to much detail. Once a contact is made I think most information could be discussed on the phone/PM. Having said that still a great post. ::g

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Re: Getting a buddy is like finding a date

Post by Blackadder43 » Sun Feb 12, 2017 11:54 am

I have removed some posts from here as they were just people taking pops at each other.
This is an informative thread and not one for politics.
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Re: Getting a buddy is like finding a date

Post by muckyluck » Sun Feb 12, 2017 6:42 pm

Well to tell my love story.. I met my perfect detecting partner answering his advert in TH magazine.
It said something like.." My name is _ _ _ _ Looking for a buddy.. I have land!"

Here we are six years later.. still phoning each other.. still sharing our little secrets.. and finds..
.. and land. We reassure each other when finds are low and have mutual trust when finds are good!

It's just that our wives are getting a bit fed up with it now!! :)) =))

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Re: Getting a buddy is like finding a date

Post by liamnolan » Tue Feb 21, 2017 9:02 pm

Super topic, read the opener and then had to read all the ensuing chapters ::g
The hobby is changing, newcomers have a different take on things that we may have regarded as sacrosanct.
I am lucky to have enough land, they usually say something like "Liam just stop bloody talking and you can go anywhere you want!" =))
I wrote this topic that suggested having a think about land BEFORE investing in a Deus or whatever - http://www.metaldetectingforum.co.uk/vi ... 10&t=69792" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
50 years ago you could go anywhere almost, but nowadays all land belongs to someone and you need to get permission. If you opt to get a machine and rely on finding a buddy with land, then maybe you are being over optimistic. Generally, people don't like inviting strangers onto their permissions, especially if they don't have any land themselves. Reason may be that once you invite someone along, then they will ask to come again, and again .. because they have nowhere else to go. Sometimes I think its best to HAVE to summon up the courage and knock on doors, get chatting with ANYONE, there is no conversation that cannot be twisted towards detecting land. Go out with a buddy too often when you have zero land and you may find it harder to look for land yourself.
As Ox Girls said, describe yourself well and offer what you can. If you have transport, midweek days off, have some good equipment, are willing to share costs, to go door knocking and have a sense of humour, then say so .. it builds up a picture. Its all about trust and respect.
My days of door knocking return tomorrow afternoon as I have discovered that a good field on my estate is now tenanted out and I need to charm the tenant farmer into letting me loose on the land b;> Good luck everyone, Liam :;@
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Re: Getting a buddy is like finding a date

Post by Bargeman » Tue Feb 21, 2017 10:51 pm

One of the reasons people new to the hobby have trouble getting permissions, is because farmers have had bad experiences with the people who have searched their land before. it is easy to moan about the situation we have now but who is really to blame, the new commercial groups who are giving everybody a chance of detecting, the farmers, who have a chance to make a little money from their land, the beginners who have nowhere else to detect, or the individuals and local clubs, who have tied up large areas of land for themselves. And don't forget, a lot of local clubs have a closed door policy, and won't accept new members.
Something had to change.

We are still our own worst enemy. I attended an open dig a couple of weeks back, and while out in the field, I came across holes that were left open (I back filled them) and other holes where large iron had been dug and left at the side of the hole. I cleared this up as well. It is no wonder farmers don't want detectorists on their land, if this is the norm.

So now we find ourselves in a situation where the commercial dig is a common occurrence, I for one am quite happy with the situation, and welcome it with open arms, it is a nice way to meet other detectorist's, to get onto land in other areas of the country that would otherwise be out of reach, is this really such a bad thing.
I have my own permission, just one field, and I shall be out there on my own again Saturday, I am happy with my own company so will enjoy the time out alone. Yet on Sunday I will be at the LGD dig in Surrey, with over one hundred other people, and I will enjoy that too, these are some of the same people who offered me advice when I attended my first ever dig, what is not to like?

However you go about your detecting, try to enjoy it for the right reasons, and remember not everybody is as lucky as you may be with the quantity or quality of land to sweep over.

Kevin.

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Re: Getting a buddy is like finding a date

Post by Blackadder43 » Tue Feb 21, 2017 11:10 pm

Lets try and stay on track and the original intentions of the poster about finding a buddy.
The subject you guys are going into is a huge can of contraversial worms.
I have made this thread sticky as i thought it was well written and beneficial to new people to the hobby.
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Re: Getting a buddy is like finding a date

Post by neil1965 » Sat Mar 25, 2017 2:17 pm

well this is some very useful information regarding permissions .i didnt know to much about it,i thought it was a case of asking a farmer if you could detect on his land lol.goes to show you cant just go any where you like ...so much to learn ..

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Post by leslie(nova scotia) » Sat Mar 25, 2017 6:47 pm

When I posted a Hunting bud wanted in Nova Scotia it was more of a lark then a serious request.
Go to Lincoln each Sept for a few weeks detecting with a mate there.

More or less just an open invition for anyone that happens to come across the big pond and wants to go detecting.

Folks on this forum speak a different brand of English with some words that may be taken out of context or translation.

Great sensable post by the way!

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Re: Getting a buddy is like finding a date

Post by Jamie Renforth 2017 » Tue Sep 05, 2017 1:07 pm

Hi aye have be goin metal detecting for a couple of weeks now and am just looking for someone to go wif if anyone's interested please message me thank you very much

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Re: Getting a buddy is like finding a date

Post by Jamie Renforth 2017 » Wed Sep 06, 2017 11:45 am

Hi am from Gateshead I just want to know if anyone's interested to meet up and go metal detecting just give me a message thank you and can someone tell me some good areas around Gateshead to go metal detecting thanks

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Re: Getting a buddy is like finding a date

Post by liamnolan » Wed Sep 06, 2017 2:10 pm

Jamie, this topic is not to advertise your wish for a buddy, you need to create your own topic and ask the same question and then maybe someone will get in touch with you. However, it looks like it may be a good idea for you to read all of this excellent topic from the start as it will help you, good luck, Liam ::g
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Re: Getting a buddy is like finding a date

Post by liamnolan » Sat Sep 09, 2017 3:32 pm

Bumping this topic as we have several newcomers who will benefit from reading it from page 1.
If you really want to buddy up with someone then its important that you say as much about yourself as is needed "Anyone in Lancs?" is not really going to work. However, saying where you are in Lancs, what machine, if you have transport, any permissions, experience, when available, preference for land or beach and so on, will attract more interest. Good luck, Liam ::g
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Re: Getting a buddy is like finding a date

Post by Groundhog » Sun Mar 11, 2018 11:27 pm

Hi folks, I just like to say what a great topic this is. I've taken on board a lot of the advice that's been given. I'm not even a newbie yet as I don't possess detector. I'm just reading up on the subject as much as I can. I love history first and foremost but no particular era. But I haven't been idle in seeking land to detect on. You see I drive for a living, delivering to building sites and private residencies. And I have struck up a good relationship with some of my customers, and they have been kind enough to give me permission to detect on their land, as soon as I am ready.I discovered this hobby rather late in life; I'm 54. But I'm young at heart and full of enthusiasm. Well I wish you all the best of luck in this fascinating hobby;And I hope to bump into you all at some point. All the best,Mark

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Re: Getting a buddy is like finding a date

Post by cantfindnothing » Fri Mar 16, 2018 12:06 pm

lol if you have permission getting a buddy is easy :) far easier than getting a date :)

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